


Maiden no more

by ChocoNut



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Post Season 7, Post canon, nervous Jaime, post confession bang-but not exactly smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 09:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16156076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: Team North has to face a wight army tomorrow and Jaime realises it is now or never. He decides to confess to his wench, but it is not as easy as he thinks it would be.I decided against smut this time, kept it subtle.





	Maiden no more

**Author's Note:**

> My humble contribution for the JB week. An impulsive piece written in the last couple of hours. Hope it's turned out okay.

“We should call it a night if we intend leaving at daybreak.” Jon’s parting words had made it even more conclusive for Jaime that the evil they were being thrown against would prove to be the ultimate test of humanity. Tomorrow they would have to defend themselves against the rapidly advancing dead, but would they survive the day? No one could say. Would mankind emerge victorious? No one knew, and no one dared speculate.

Life had been a long and tedious journey for Jaime. He had managed to wade through it after having endured a lot, some of his misfortunes being the result of his own doing, his wrong choices, while some were just plain cruel fate. Until now, when he had eventually decided to take control of his life, until he had made up his mind to _fuck loyalty_. All because of her-the one woman who, he just happened to realize, mattered to him more than anyone else in this whole wide world! His wench, who only gave selflessly, expecting nothing for herself in return.

He had arrived here not long ago, just yesterday to be precise, and all along his solitary ride to Winterfell, Brienne had been the sole occupant of Jaime’s mind.

And not to mention, his heart.

Yes, she was the one. She was his life, the very reason for his existence, his conscience, and an inseparable part of his soul. He had been such a fool to have comprehended this simple, but logical truth so late in his life.

He had a lot to tell her, all he had been yearning for, was to pour his heart out to her, but he was left tongue-tied the moment he set foot in the castle, the second his eyes met hers. There was something in those eyes that had always managed to mesmerise him, something that had the power to make him to forget the world and lose himself in them, something that had never yet failed to render him completely helpless. 

“Are you going to tell her now atleast?” Bronn’s sarcastic tone rudely interrupted his train of thought “Or are you still waiting for an auspicious occasion?”

“Tell her what?” Jaime deliberately decided to feign ignorance.

“Oh, about the weather, Lannister. Interesting subject, isn’t it?” Bronn threw him a crooked smile “You can spend all night with her, discussing how cold the North is. That would be pretty damn enlightening.”

Jaime couldn’t help smiling at Bronn’s undaunted sense of humour even in such a grim situation.

“You could die tomorrow, you know,” Bronn declared prophetically “As could she. So maybe in your afterlife--”

“Thanks, Bronn,” Jaime said sarcastically “You have no idea how comforting that vision is.”

“What the hell are you waiting for then? Get your fookin’ ass up to her room right now,” Bronn urged him “Have the balls to tell her how you feel. Tonight might be the only time you have together.”

Bronn left, leaving him alone with the uncomfortable truth yet again, and for the hundredth time in his life, Jaime had to agree with him. Everything could end tomorrow, this world, their very existence...he had to tell her before that, tell her how desperately he loved her. Hells, if this was going to be his last night in this world, he might as well spend it drowning in her eyes! Death didn’t sound half as bad, if the last image in his head was going to be Brienne’s lovely eyes.

He walked in a trance, having no idea when or how he had ended up at her door. His feet seemed to have automatically led him to her. Drawing a deep breath, he knocked and waited for her to open. Waited as if his life depended on it.

Blue eyes peered at him through a small gap, and when she saw who it was, the door opened wide enough for him to enter.

“Ser Jaime?” she gave him a questioning look “So late? Is there a problem?”

“Do I have to hide under the excuse of a problem to come and meet you?” he muttered, irritated with his sudden inability to talk straight.

“I don’t quite understand, Ser,” she looked confused “It is almost midnight, so am I right in assuming that there is a reason for you to be here at this hour?”

“Ofcourse, there is,” was all he could manage. Jaime was frustrated with himself. He had never been one to struggle with words, having even earned the dubious reputation of tormenting Brienne with his mockery and taunts during their early days. But when it now came to expressing the deepest desires of his heart to her, his mind seemed to have been wiped completely blank.

“What is it?” Brienne asked patiently “Clearly, there is something in your mind. I don’t think this is a social visit.”

“I came to tell you that…” he stammered.

“Yes?” she prompted.

“Tomorrow is an important day for us,” Jaime finished lamely, mentally cursing himself for his lack of courage.

“It is, indeed,” Brienne agreed with a sigh “It could be our last day in this world.”

“Precisely, which is why I came to say that…” _Tell her, Jaime, it’s not that difficult._

“Well, what’s troubling you?” Brienne’s tone indicated that her patience was thinning “Unless it is something important, I would like to go back to bed. We have a long day ahead, and we both need to get some sleep.”

Jaime was now at his wits end.

“Gods! Don’t you understand, wench?” he cried out in exasperation “Are you that naive?”

“No, I don’t understand,” she replied, her big blue eyes full of hurt “Maybe I am naive, maybe even stupid, but nothing that you have been saying for the past few minutes has been making much sense to me right now.”

“My apologies,” he said guiltily “I shouldn’t have spoken like that.”

A long spell of tense and awkward silence passed by, with both of them just staring at each other. Unable to contain himself any longer, Jaime grabbed her by the waist and jerked her towards him. He glimpsed a hint of surprise on her face, but she made no effort to resist his touch. Encouraged, he pressed his lips to hers and did what he had been intending to do for ages; days, months, years-he didn’t know, and he couldn’t care less. All he cared for, was her lips against his, and this was the last thing he wanted to remember before his life ended, _if_ it ended tomorrow.

It was only after a while that he realized that something was amiss. She wasn’t kissing him back. His heart sank, for this was becoming his worst nightmare come true. Jaime let go of her at once, so consumed by embarrassment, that he wished the ground would split open and swallow him before he had to face her again.

“I am sorry,” he mumbled to the floor, not daring to meet her eyes “That was a huge blunder. I thought you--”

“Ser Jaime?”

He thought he heard her soft voice address him, but paying no attention to her, he went on and on, still trying to justify and apologise for his brazen behaviour.

“I love you, and I was under the false notion that you loved me too, but I have clearly been mistaken about how you feel, and I apologise for what I have done, Brienne,” he spoke very fast.

“ _Ser Jaime!_ ” she almost shouted this time, finally managing to capture his attention. Jaime glanced up at her face, and only now did he catch sight of a faint pinkish hue colouring her cheeks. Did this mean...no, it was no good getting his hopes high when he didn’t know for sure if she...

“False notion?” she repeated “What makes you think so?”

“I know, I made a fool of myself when I kissed you like that,” Jaime went on, still unsure of how to perceive her reaction “And I apologise once again for it. I’ll just make myself scarce if that would please you.”

“Ser Jaime,” her voice was now extremely soft “How do you presume to know what is in my heart?”

For a second, Jaime wondered if he had heard her properly.

“Do you mean to say that you too--” he dared not complete his sentence, for fear of being grossly mistaken.

Brienne nodded, a shy smile illuminating her blushing face. It was now her turn to avert her eyes from him and focus on the ground. Jaime took a step closer, and lifted her chin slightly.

“But you didn’t kiss me back,” he whispered, allowing himself to plunge into the depths of those eyes for what could probably be the millionth time in his life.

“I... I didn’t know how to,” she stammered, the colour on her face deepening.

“Allow me to teach you then,” he gave her a mischievous grin before capturing her lips again. This time, he kissed her slowly and passionately, taking his time to savour her, allowing her time to feel him, to get used to him. She tasted like heaven, and while she was a bit clumsy at the beginning, she quickly began to respond to him, her lips moving in conjunction with his, her rhythm synchronizing with his. And soon enough, his tongue was in her mouth, intertwined with hers, as if that was where it was always meant to be.

When they broke apart to catch their breaths, Jaime took her in his arms, holding on to her dearly as if she might disappear if he were to let go. They stood there for a long time, lost in each other’s embrace.

“I love you, Brienne,” Jaime whispered in her ear, his lips brushing against her earlobe “I know not since when, but there is one thing that I do know, one thing that I can assure you of--” he kissed her tenderly “I will love you till the last day of my life, and if that day turns out to be tomorrow--”

Brienne drew away gently.

“No,” she shook her head, bringing her fingers to his lips, silencing him “We may die tomorrow, or the day after, or maybe after that, but tonight is not the time to dwell on such unpleasant thoughts.” She ran her fingers over his cheek, caressing his beard fondly, her eyes shining with love as she gazed upon him.

Yes, _love_.

Only now, did he fully comprehend the meaning of the word. It was something he had never felt before, something he had never dreamed that he would ever be the recipient of, something he had never realized that he had craved for all his life, and something he had never thought he was capable of bestowing upon another.

“You haven’t yet told me, wench,” Jaime wanted to hear her say it “Do you love me?”

Brienne planted a soft kiss on his lips in response. “Do you still need an answer to that, Ser Jaime?” she breathed into his mouth.

“ _Ser_ Jaime?” Jaime repeated in disbelief “ _Ser_? After all that’s happened between us in the last few minutes, you still choose to call me ser?”

When Brienne just smiled at him, Jaime pulled her into an embrace, burying his face in her neck, his fingers sliding along her back and his body pressing into hers, closing whatever miniscule gap there was between them.

“Jaime...” she sounded a little nervous, clearly wanting to say something, but hesitating to go on.

Jaime was struck by a sudden pang of guilt. Until a minute ago, he had been looking forward to spending the night with her. But now, he found himself having second thoughts about it. She was a maiden, so some level of apprehension and inhibitions on her part would be inevitable, and he should have anticipated that. But this was Brienne, and even if she wished for him to be with her tonight, he wanted to do the right thing, and if that meant he had to wait till he married her, he gladly would. It would be highly selfish on his part to succumb to his temptation.

“I should be going,” he said, extricating himself from her arms “We can talk in the morning.” He opened the door to step out, when he felt a strong tug on his shoulder.

“Where do you think you are going?” Brienne’s eyes flashed fire “After such a long winding confession of your love for me, are you going to leave me alone on what could perhaps be my last night?”

“Believe me, Brienne,” Jaime had to gather all his will power to tell her what he was just about to “There is nothing more I could ever desire, than to be yours tonight and to make you mine, but not at the cost of your honour. You are a maiden and with you, for the first time in my life--” he paused for breath “--I want to do the right thing. I can't forgive myself if I end up hurting you.”

“You would be hurting me if you walked out of that door right now, Ser Jaime Lannister,” she cried out, visibly agitated “What good would honour be, if either of us were to perish tomorrow? I love you, Jaime, if I die a virgin, the last thing on my mind would be regret. And, gods forbid, if you happen to die…” she shivered at the thought, her eyes shining with unshed tears “Honour at that cost is not worth--”

The next few minutes were a blur, with neither of them being aware of who had made the first move, or how they had ended up on the bed. Jaime had her pinned under him, her warm, naked body twisting and squirming beneath his. His lips were on hers, and his hand was all over her soft skin, feeling every bit of her that he could reach. He watched her redden at his touch, enjoying the feeling of satisfaction at the sight, knowing that he was the cause for it. Not one to be left behind, her hands roamed all over his body, taking her time to explore him, while simultaneously moaning and gasping under his touch.

Before he could go any further, he looked into her eyes, and there it was-a silent consent, a wordless confirmation that she too wanted this, that she too felt the same for him, that she too had been starving for his touch as much as he had.

He took her slowly and gently, taking care not to hurt her, the fact that she was a virgin never once leaving his mind. Taking a woman to bed meant that she deserved to be treated delicately, just the way one would handle a flower. She had to be touched and kissed with utmost love, tenderness and devotion. And that was how he would treasure her, not just this once, but each and every time, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, and every hour of every day, until death tore them apart. She winced, but only a bit and when he was fully inside her, the pained expression in her eyes was replaced by one of pure, unadulterated bliss. They moved together, first just him, and then as she followed suit, their bodies and souls merged into one, their desire for each other reaching new heights with every touch, every kiss and every thrust. And when they could stand it no more, their love, and all the pent up frustration that had been bottled up inside them for all these years finally culminated into an explosion of searing passion that left them both panting and gasping for more. They screamed each other’s names, and once again pledged their undying love for one another.

The glorious moment had passed, and Jaime wished he could have had it frozen in time. But there would be many more, he reassured himself.

“I am the luckiest man in all the seven kingdoms, My Lady,” he softly kissed her hair, as they lay there wrapped in each other “I have been such an idiot, not having realized this the day I met you.”

“If you had, would you have carried on insulting me?” Brienne teased, feigning anger “Mind you, I still look much uglier in daylight. Nothing has changed.”

“Everything has changed, Brienne,” he said fondly, gazing into her blue eyes “You, me, and the way we feel about each other.”

“Quite right. You were awful and despicable then, except...” she paused “There is one thing you haven’t yet told me.”

“What?”

“Why did you save me from that bear?” she asked “What made you come back for me?”

“Oh, my dear wench, what can I say...” he let out a huge sigh, hugging her tighter “The things I do for love!” He kissed her again, smiling into her lips, only now understanding the depth of these words.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and happy JB week to you all!  
> As always, please share your comments and feedback.


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